Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Repost: New Product Announcement

SGMR Industries. Inc. has always been committed to selling products for money to people who probably don’t need them in the first place. Since we first introduced our first product, people have been throwing money at us and clamoring for more. Well, we gave them more. We added more adjectives, and more shiny bits and sold it for more money than the previous version. That’s what we do and people love us for it.

Today, we introduce yet another, new, revolutionary, shiny, big, fabulous, and highly improved product. It will do something more impressive than the previous version and we will introduce something else that people didn’t think they needed. However, people will make a reason to need this product and they won’t care how much they have to pay for it, because it’s from us. We are excited to see how much more money we’re going to make off of this product and how many people will buy it before we obsolete it in six months when we tease our next product that will contain one more thing that people don’t need. 

We will begin preorders at retail outlets on Friday morning which means that we will control the entire news cycle that day. This is our mission, and when the product is released, we will only distribute at those same retailers so that we can build hype for the next iteration. People like to stand in line for exclusive products that they spend a lot of money on to look more impressive in front of their friends. Our commitment to our customers is to make them feel more important than everybody else.

Saturday, June 13, 2020

Introducing A New Blog

I know, I know, I haven't written anything new on this blog in a while. Well, it will still be a little longer, but I am going to start writing on the ISC Blog. The first post is going to be an article from a website that for some reason sends me newsletters called Prophecy News Watch. It's exactly what it sounds like, a "news" website that looks at the world and tries to shoehorn events to fit "biblical prophecy".

The first post is based on an article talking about 9 signs of the apocalypse. It's not very good and it is quite underwhelming. I can't see how anybody would read that article and think that the world is ending. Things happen. We're seeing things happen and they don't need a reason to happen. So I wrote again, but not here unless you count this post tell you that I wrote somewhere else.

I hope you like the new blog, and I will try to get back to writing real stuff here as well. I need an outlet for all of the stuff running through my brain.