The Art of Rude

I mentioned a while back that during my unemployed skid I am working the lunchroom for a caterer that I know.  This business is in a very successful company with lots of really cool people (including the host of Futures in Biotech on TWiT).  I kind of like this gig, but would like to get back to being an electronics tech at some point.  The people are, for the most part, very courteous except for a notable few that tend to rub me the wrong way.

The top of my list belongs to the "Money Droppers".  Let me describe.  I give the customer his/her total and sort of casually hold out my hand to receive payment.  Instead of handing me the money, they drop it next to my hand on the counter.  This to me looks like an insult, as if this person is saying, "You are unclean, pick the money up off the ground not from my pristine hand."  I had one who raised the money up about six inches higher and dropped it so that the bills would separate and I would have to shovel them up.  There are many things I would love to say to these people, but I promised I would smile and be courteous.

A step down from those bottom-feeders are the "Connoisseurs".  We have hot lunch specials throughout the week ranging from a pretty classical Italian dish to hamburgers.  I try to describe some of the more complex stuff, but I usually end up showing the customer what it looks like.  I have no problem with this.  My problem comes with those people who insist on seeing the special everyday.  Here's how it usually goes:

Customer:  What's the special?
AlienCG:  Hamburgers
Cust:  Can I see them?
ACG's Frail Mind:  WHAT!?  IT'S A F------ HAMBURGER!!!  WHAT IS THERE TO SEE!?
ACG for real:  Sure, they're really good today. (Smiling, trying not to spill blood)

You know, I haven't done this in a while and I might be a little out of practice, but here goes nothing.  Ladies and gentlemen who annoy me so much, I would like to give you a gift, a very special gift.  It's sitting in the microwave over there, make sure you stick your head way in to find it.  Yes, you guessed it, it is the coveted Pyrite Moron Award and these two breeds get it.  Remember, it's pyrite because no moron is worth gold.