Vitamins and Aliens

I sat down to dinner to dinner one day, my pet zebra made a rude noise, and I made him sing from the top of lungs, I want to make a million dollars.  He looked at me with disdain and showed me his fangs.  A man at the door in lederhosen tried to sell me a magazine subscription, but I told him I bought three candy bars last month and had nowehere to keep them.  I wished him a happy new year and let my balloon go into the night sky.  It was noon.  Saturn hung low over head, my brother came to me and asked for a fork, but I only had two fives.  It a was a depressing sight.  A car flew over the house, the pilot screamed and said he was here to save my soul.  I asked him the time, he said chipped beef on rye, he thanked me and ran down the street without a penny to his name.  The morning sky was ugly, my hair was longer than it was three minutes ago and a whale had defecated on my front lawn.  I told his owner, a great dane in a cowboy hat to clean it up.  I gave him a plactic bag a jumper cable.  I looked up, a boat sailed by and gave me a nod, but a duck had gotten in the way, so I turned and headed off toward a the garage where I kept my pants.  I untied one shoe in hopes of keeping myself from getting sick, but my maid found me frst.  I picked up a baseball and watched as it circled around in my hand, a strange sight, not strange enough for Amelia Forodor.  I saw a crocodile smile at me, it was amusing as I blew him a kiss and went about my way.  The sun was setting on my night and I figured I better roll up the windows and raise the tiles on the floor.  Where is my wallet, my birthday cake was in there, without it nobody knows I was born? Kick my my way off to random days and fire it out of a cannon.  I drank some milk, thanked the waiter and made off with three thousand toothpicks to build a new house.  I added a multiplier to my age, now I'm younger, What the hell have I done with my mother?  It was a horrible day to think.

Do not question it, do not make it out to be anything, it's nothing.  I will explain what I am doing in more detail after I see the responses.  Let me just say that there is much inspiration in this from various sources.