I wrote this one in response to stories about video games being the reason for people to act like animals. I liked it when I wrote it, but after a while it became cliche.
I hope you enjoyed this humorous look back at my early writing.STORM LAKE, IA--Myron Kopinski, a local plumber, was laid to rest yesterday after being found dead at the base of a flagpole at the local elementary school. Police investigated and found evidence that points to the victims final hours on earth. His widow told reporters that the victim was out the morning of his death jumping on turtles and other creatures after eating mushrooms and flowers. He was apparently searching for a kidnapped princess who was allegedly abducted by a giant lizard. Mr. Kopinski eventually made it to the elementary school where he made his way to the roof. He ran and jumped toward the flagpole, some fifty feet away trying to earn extra points. A copy of "Super Mario Bros." was found at his home in a Nintendo Entertainment System. The coroner has released the following statement, "This looks to be yet another senseless video game related tragedy." Authorities have continued the search for the giant lizard, but according to his friend, a large gorilla who asked to remain anonymous, he [the lizard] has fled the country. The princess, who remains unidentified, is still missing and is presumed dead. Local law enforcement reported the lizard, identified only as Bowser, to Interpol.
Sad and Not True by: AlienCG October 5, 2004